The situation: Your new neighbors have just received U.S. citizenship and plan to make their home in your neighborhood for the rest of their lives. The couple, originally from a small tribe in Africa, have had plates placed in their lips, which over the years have stretched their lips about six inches. In their culture, this is a significant sign of beauty and they therefore wish to pass this tradition on to their young daughter. Seeing that this might cause their daughter a certain amount of stress as she enters the U.S. public school system, you suggest that the parents not do this to their daughter. The parents refuse your advice and proceed with their plans to have the plates placed in their daughter's lips. Could this be construed as child abuse? Defend your response. What would you do?
Big Lipped Parents
My next step after the parents decide to proceed with the plates would be to explain to them that if they do choose to continue they will need to educate their community. If the parents wish to avoid undue stress on their daughter they would need to educate the neighborhood and school on the traditions of their tribe. The closest comparison I could make would be that of a natural physical deformity. If you talk to children and adults about the condition I believe that they will be less likely to point and/or stare if they understand what it is. Because of my experience in elementary special education classrooms I have experience with this method. If you address the issue instead of pretending that nothing is different it prevents staring, whispering and ostracism of the child in question. This would in no way stop those things from happening but it may reduce them and even encourage other children to stand up for the child.
If this approach did not work, my advice to the parents would be that while the practice may be common and considered beautiful in Africa, continuing this tradition with their daughter may impede her social mobility in the U.S. While I would like to believe that people would not judge or penalize the daughter for this cultural tradition, I must admit to a bit of prejudice when it comes to practices such as this. I would have a much easier time accepting the practice from this recently immigrated family then I would the people who currently adopt this practice by stretching out their earlobes and noses. The current popular trend came as a form of rebellion, a way to stand out. Most workplaces that require an individual to deal with the public ask people with these piercings to insert clear or flesh toned jewelry to avoid drawing attention to the piercing. I would assume that people who have this done would have limited advancement opportunities in fields of work that require corporate attire. These parents would need to understand the long lasting effects of the decision that they are making for their daughter should they choose to stay in the United States.
The question is can this body modification be considered child abuse? The general definition of child abuse is intentional or non-accidental production of a physical injury. If you define body modification as a physical injury, then yes it could be considered child abuse. However what about the thousands of parents who have their infant children’s ears pierced without the intention of stretching? In my family we could decide at the age of 8 for ourselves whether we wanted our ears pierced. This girl is not being given a choice on the body modification. To take it further, what about circumcision? While studies have shown that it can be beneficial to the health of a male child, some countries still perform female circumcisions. In China women used to have their feet bound starting as a child to stunt growth because small feet were considered beautiful. One thing that all of these practices have in common is that they are not reversible. Ear stretching, lip plugs and circumcision are permanent changes to the human body. If you consider body modification to be a physical injury then it qualifies as child abuse. The other consideration for child abuse would be the psychological effect that body modification will have to the child. It is more than likely that any mental anguish caused by the body modification will not occur at the hands of the parents. Does this make the parents responsible for any bullying the child may face?
This brings me back to my original response to the parents who would insist on continuing with the lip plates. Along with encouraging them to educate their community I would also suggest that the process be put off until the child could have a say in making the decision. Life and school is hard enough without adding unnecessary complications. For the most part I support passing on culture and traditions. As the world becomes more connected through technology it is possible that we may begin to lose the qualities that once made cultures unique and it is our responsibility to ensure that these things are not lost. We can still honor culture and traditions with an eye to moderation and good judgement. In a perfect world acceptance of an individual’s differences would be universal and something that is normal one place would not be mocked or degraded elsewhere but we don’t live in a perfect world.
My next step after the parents decide to proceed with the plates would be to explain to them that if they do choose to continue they will need to educate their community. If the parents wish to avoid undue stress on their daughter they would need to educate the neighborhood and school on the traditions of their tribe. The closest comparison I could make would be that of a natural physical deformity. If you talk to children and adults about the condition I believe that they will be less likely to point and/or stare if they understand what it is. Because of my experience in elementary special education classrooms I have experience with this method. If you address the issue instead of pretending that nothing is different it prevents staring, whispering and ostracism of the child in question. This would in no way stop those things from happening but it may reduce them and even encourage other children to stand up for the child.
If this approach did not work, my advice to the parents would be that while the practice may be common and considered beautiful in Africa, continuing this tradition with their daughter may impede her social mobility in the U.S. While I would like to believe that people would not judge or penalize the daughter for this cultural tradition, I must admit to a bit of prejudice when it comes to practices such as this. I would have a much easier time accepting the practice from this recently immigrated family then I would the people who currently adopt this practice by stretching out their earlobes and noses. The current popular trend came as a form of rebellion, a way to stand out. Most workplaces that require an individual to deal with the public ask people with these piercings to insert clear or flesh toned jewelry to avoid drawing attention to the piercing. I would assume that people who have this done would have limited advancement opportunities in fields of work that require corporate attire. These parents would need to understand the long lasting effects of the decision that they are making for their daughter should they choose to stay in the United States.
The question is can this body modification be considered child abuse? The general definition of child abuse is intentional or non-accidental production of a physical injury. If you define body modification as a physical injury, then yes it could be considered child abuse. However what about the thousands of parents who have their infant children’s ears pierced without the intention of stretching? In my family we could decide at the age of 8 for ourselves whether we wanted our ears pierced. This girl is not being given a choice on the body modification. To take it further, what about circumcision? While studies have shown that it can be beneficial to the health of a male child, some countries still perform female circumcisions. In China women used to have their feet bound starting as a child to stunt growth because small feet were considered beautiful. One thing that all of these practices have in common is that they are not reversible. Ear stretching, lip plugs and circumcision are permanent changes to the human body. If you consider body modification to be a physical injury then it qualifies as child abuse. The other consideration for child abuse would be the psychological effect that body modification will have to the child. It is more than likely that any mental anguish caused by the body modification will not occur at the hands of the parents. Does this make the parents responsible for any bullying the child may face?
This brings me back to my original response to the parents who would insist on continuing with the lip plates. Along with encouraging them to educate their community I would also suggest that the process be put off until the child could have a say in making the decision. Life and school is hard enough without adding unnecessary complications. For the most part I support passing on culture and traditions. As the world becomes more connected through technology it is possible that we may begin to lose the qualities that once made cultures unique and it is our responsibility to ensure that these things are not lost. We can still honor culture and traditions with an eye to moderation and good judgement. In a perfect world acceptance of an individual’s differences would be universal and something that is normal one place would not be mocked or degraded elsewhere but we don’t live in a perfect world.
Analysis
The main reason I chose to write on this topic was because I disagreed with the premise. I don't think it would be my place to tell the parents that they shouldn't pass on this tradition to their daughter. My initial approach would be the ones I outlined in my paper. I understand why the issue is controversial and why following cultural traditions may cause the daughter stress, however, I don't believe it is my right to tell these parents that they are doing something wrong. I can understand explaining to the parents how this may affect their daughter if they are not aware of the repercussions, but I would not tell them they are wrong because I don't agree with it. Just because something is different that does not mean it is evil or wrong. It's just different. I would hope that my community would be supportive of me as an individual even if I am different. You can be kind and friendly to someone even if you don't agree with their lifestyle or cultural traditions. I would also expect the same to be reciprocated. This does not mean that I expect the community to join these parents and have their lips stretched out as well, I just believe that tolerance and acceptance are not mutually exclusive.
The main reason I chose to write on this topic was because I disagreed with the premise. I don't think it would be my place to tell the parents that they shouldn't pass on this tradition to their daughter. My initial approach would be the ones I outlined in my paper. I understand why the issue is controversial and why following cultural traditions may cause the daughter stress, however, I don't believe it is my right to tell these parents that they are doing something wrong. I can understand explaining to the parents how this may affect their daughter if they are not aware of the repercussions, but I would not tell them they are wrong because I don't agree with it. Just because something is different that does not mean it is evil or wrong. It's just different. I would hope that my community would be supportive of me as an individual even if I am different. You can be kind and friendly to someone even if you don't agree with their lifestyle or cultural traditions. I would also expect the same to be reciprocated. This does not mean that I expect the community to join these parents and have their lips stretched out as well, I just believe that tolerance and acceptance are not mutually exclusive.